Feel myself like kamikaze. Still, very interesting to know...
First of all I do not think being lesbian is something that is wrong. I have no right to just because at some point of my life I was seriously thinking of... erm... sticking to the guys. Just because I found myself uncomfortable with girls (I still do, honestly) so I couldn't trust them and be as close as with some guys. Time past and I realized that a friend has no gender. I mean you don't think of him as a male or female. He's just a friend who you respect and love in a certain way. And at that point I found girls to be... erm... let's say easier to care about. Now that you know my story, tell me yours. Why have you deided to be a lesbian and what's wrong with guys?
Just a small note... don't worry :) this thread is okay in this part of the forum<3
Now as for the reply, I can't speak for every lesbian, but as for myself I became a lesbian because I was finally true to myself and who I was. I mean, yeah I can find a guy very nice and I can find him good looking, but I was finding myself to be more and more attracted to females, because I physically I find them more appealing and I just understand females better than I ever did understand a male... there's nothing wrong with guys, it's just for me personaly, I'd be much more comfortable being with a girl and having a girlfriend :) and that's why I'm a lesbian.
So you mean you became lesbian because you understand males less than females and feel yourself much comfortable with girls?.. At this point it sounds like I'm gay but still can't accept it... What a nice surprise %)
I mean, i think it's natural to understand the opposite sex a little less then your. Just because sometimes you cannot just apply actions and thoughts that you would do in their place. So the opposite sex would be unpredictable for you at least once in a while. And of course misunderstanding of the man you communicate with will lead to a certain discomfort. But still it doesn't mean that you cannot be close. Imho, it's just a matter of time and experience. So I still don't understand what caused you to become a lesbian. If it wasn't a fear of the opposite sex...
Lemme see... I tried to explain but I guess it wasn't completely clear ^^;
To me, sexual oriention is something in your head, and it's what you feel comfortable with and what makes you happy. I was getting asked out by boys alot over christmas this year, it was at this point I admited to being bisexual... but when it came to actually go to date a certain boy I stopped myself and said, "no I can't do this"... because it wouldn't have made me happy. I had to be true to myself and realise that I'm a lesbian.
It's a hard thing to explain what goes on emotionaly in a person's heart, not necessaraly all black and white, but there are reasons that are just hard to explain. It's all a course of self discovery, and I'm not quite sure if I'm answering your question or not, but yeah, I'm just a lesbian, ^^; I like girls and there's nothing I can do about it, that just who I am.
However still sounds like you're just a bad luck at boys... Still I just don't get... For example I have a closest friend. He's male. We understand each other. I start the phrase - he finishes. And sometimes we just say the same thing at a time. Having the similar ideas. Frankly speaking, he's the only person I feel myself capable of trusting anything. Still, I know, that If The Girl comes in my life - I will prefer spending time with her. Not because I feel it, but because such thing happened to me about three or four times.
I just don't get... how can you be so sure that there won't be a guy in your life, that you will want just to be near to. Just to feel him being near. Feeling comfortable in his warm hands and relaxed just by the sound of his voice?
And sorry for asking such a private thing, but... have you ever fallen in love?
That's not the case... being friends and being a lover is two different things... like I said, it's hard to explain but my mind set is that I like girls and that's all there is to it... There was a time in my life when I thought I was going to be with a man, but I wasn't being true to myself... the truth is deep down I've always been like this but I was subconsciously in denial about it, being true to myself made me the happiest I had ever been, and I know this is who I am. No I won't want to be held in the arms of a man later on down the road because I know in my heart that's not what I want, with all honesty I can only see myself spending the rest of my life with a special girl...
And to answer the other question no, I haven't been in love with a boy or a girl in my life... crushes yes, love no.
But if you haven't fallen in love with somebody, then how can you know who are you capable of falling in love with and who not... And BTW, what is the difference between boys and girls? I don't mean comparative anatomy. I mean there is got to be something for you that makes girls attractive to you, that guys don't have or have less?
I just think that I know myself well enough to know what I want in a partner. Don't get me wrong, I know plenty of guys out there who are really sweet and kind, and can be understanding... but like I said before, it's my inner-emotions that make me feel this way, in my mind a woman to me is more physically attractive, and also the comfort level is there... guys make me feel uncomfortable in general, I'm not uncomfortable around girls at all, the fact that I'm attracted to a girl's intellect and ways of thinking is what makes a girl much more attractive to me, and much more easy to be a lover with... like I said, I'm just trying my best to describe my inner-thoughts and feelings here^^;
Still... you haven't answered the question about the difference between females and males)... In your opinion... Call me maniac but I always thought that anyone can be understood. That's why I want to know...
That just comes down to each individual now... you may think you understand everyone, but my personal experience allows me to understand females alot more... that's how I feel, and I really don't know how I can explain this anymore than what I already have...
If I understood everybody - I would be much happier than now. All I said is that I believe it is possible to understand everyone. Still it requies a lot of time...
Sorry if I fatiqued you with my questions... I just prefer everything to be at least looking like logically structured... I'm a methematician, you know)))...
It's quite alright, you were just curious I suppose.
And as nice as it would be to have things logically structured, I'm sorry my friends but sometimes things happen for reasons that aren't quite logical, they happen for reasons that are hard to explain, it's just the way a person is at heart... and that's the way I am.
To be honest, I think the question 'why are you a lesbian?' is as silly as the opposite question 'why are you straight?', or to use a less direct analogy, 'why do you like this particular food?'
The thing is, it's not a logical thing; you can't rationally explain it; it's not a choice per se. You don't think 'well, I think I'll be a lesbian' one day. That's actually one of the incorrect perceptions that alot of anti-gay folks have; that people choose it to annoy them, or whatever.
I'm pretty sure I am beause I find girls more attractive then guys and can picture myself with them then I would with a boy. I feel comfortable even dating them I actually had a few gfs and fell in love with one girl. It took me a while to accept that I was into girls because I felt that it was wrong and I wanted to be like every normal girl but with time I became true to myself and learned to accept who I am.
